Below are the 17 most recent journal entries recorded in autologik's LiveJournal:

Monday, March 12th, 2007
1:23 pm	Week...8? Posting for hvw It's been a couple of weeks since our last update, for two major reasons. The first is that we thought we'd be getting home internet this past week, so we didn't worry about going into my office on the weekend to send the weekly email... and then we didn't get internet at home. (More about that in a minute.) The other is that we've been tremendously engrossed in a language learning activity. OK, it's a computer game. But it's in German. That counts ... right? But we have actually been out and about, and we have done a few interesting things. One conclusion we came to over the last couple of weeks is that language learning would be much easier if it were anything at all like what's taught in school. When learning a foreign language in school, even when there is emphasis on conversation, it is frequently a very pat, conclusive conversation. Often the conversations are scripted, and as long as you are capable of memorizing short sentences, you'll be fine. What they don't teach in foreign language classes is the disconcerting habit people have of interjecting random things into what ought to be minimal, predictable conversations. We have begun to expect and dread the One Question More. No matter what we think we're prepared for conversationally, there is always One Question More. Grocery clerks are the worst for this (possibly because that's the single type of person we interact with most often). Questions about what is your postal code, have you got the membership card, do you have exact change, did you know you can get two of those for only a little more money, don't forget your oranges, and, failing all of those, questions about whether the items in our purchase are all part of the same purchase. This last thing is particularly infuriating, because there are 10,000 ways to ask this question, some of which involve made-up Austrian words, and also because the items in our purchase are invariably touching one another, and not touching anything else around, so it seems like it should be obvious. (We wonder if there's something about where we stand in relationship to the cashier and the groceries that triggers the question.) It's also a tough question, because the way groceries are handled here differs a little bit from in the U.S. Just like in the U.S., there is a conveyor belt that goes from inside the store, past the cashier (who is always seated here, possibly by law) and toward the outside of the store. The cashier tries to get your items across the scanner as fast as possible, and you need to either bag, or replace them into your cart before she finishes scanning them, because once you have paid, the next customer's items will be flying along on top of yours, and it is possible to create terrible traffic jams by not moving your items fast enough. Alternately, if you have to ask five times, "Sorry, what was that you said?" when the cashier asks the One Question More, the people behind are likely to get irritable, as is the cashier. On the bright side, personal checks are not a thing here, which means you will never ever get stuck in line behind someone who is going to take all day to write a check for a single tube of lip balm. ATM/Debit/credit card payments are almost universally available, but it seems like most people pay in cash for most things. (Word to the wise, your U.S. debit card will not work for point of sale transactions---only to get cash in certain ATMs.) No one would even bat an eyelash if you paid for something large, like a major appliance, in cash. Many apartment listings specify that the initial 3 months' deposit & rent must be paid in cash, even though the monthly rent will be paid by direct bank draft. Also, if there's only one cashier, and a lot of people in line, a cantankerous old guy will demand that another cashier be called, and this will be done immediately, then the lines go faster. The old guy gets rung up first, in the new line, possibly also by law. Last week, we picked up a local guide to pleasant walks around the area. There is actually a single verb meaning "to take a pleasant walk"-- spaziergehen -- which tells you something about the regard held in German-speaking countries for pleasant walks. There were many local guide books to choose from, possibly because Graz won an award in 2003, as a "Cultural Capital", meaning it's a center for history and culture and pastries and so forth. As a result, there has been an upsurge in tourism here, but also an upsurge in books about Graz. (There is even a complete history of Graz, a boxed set of 5 large hardbound volumes, for the very, very interested.) The local guide we bought merges pleasant walks with the public transit system, showing which bus line to take to get there, where to end it, and all the in-between places to catch a tram if it becomes unpleasant out or something. It's completely oriented around not-having-a-car, which works for us, as we are not having a car. We tried one of the walks this weekend, it was a nice walk that took several hours, from the basilica just outside town, back towards a pleasant little lake. Looking forward to trying more of them. Cafe season began last week, with many sidewalks in the altstadt suddenly taken over with tables and chairs. Given how much one is likely to pay for a cup of coffee and a slice of cake, it is easy to understand why one would want to loiter for a very long time in the cafe. It's all about the sense of value. Unfortunately, the weather's been a bit chilly and damp since that happened, so the tables and chairs haven't been terribly inviting. Other things that started this week are: ice cream season! Many vendors have 40 flavors, and there have been some advertisements in our mailbox about how the local groceries have stocked up already with the new flavors. There is a ubiquitous flavor here, Nougat, which we believe to be hazelnut. Hazelnuts are tremendously popular here in general. Pistachio ice cream actually tastes like pistachios, not just green sugar, and there are other interesting flavors... like yogurt flavor. It's a lot better than it sounds... The spring semester at the university began this week, and in combination with cafe season, it means that the main entrance to my office building (which contains the uni's major cafe facility) is utterly besieged all day with students loitering at cafe tables, smoking cigarettes, and drinking beer. And, you know, talking very, very loudly, as young people drinking & smoking often do. They probably should go to class or something... The pictures this week are a sort of mixed bag. There's a shot of the main building of my employer, Karl Franzens Üniversitat. Many of the buildings on campus are similarly majestic, while others are bland sheet metal cubes. Sometime, we'll get a picture of the bland sheet metal cube that my office is in, and also of my office. (It's not very interesting to look at, but he does spend a lot of time there.) Also, I have the most powerful and expensive computer at the university. Yay me! OK, so the about the home internet/lack thereof. We picked up the ADSL modem from the post office on Monday, and followed the easy 3-step instructions to connect it, and waited optimistically for the proper green lights to light up. They didn't. Then we started dreading the call to tech support, to figure out the problem and get it fixed... because although we both speak tech, we both don't speak tech in German, much less Austrian German. Also, they charge for calls to tech support... so we were doubly desperate to avoid making one... because we have only a cell phone, which costs us per minute to use, on top of the tech support line charge! However, Tuesday we got two letters in the mail that (sort of) clear up why the connection doesn't work. Apparently, to use ADSL, it's necessary to have a phone line live to the service address, because ADSL is piggy-backed on phone lines.... and we didn't have a phone line ... so they assigned us one. And it's not live yet. So the ADSL isn't working yet. The letter from the phone company said their tech would be out to check on things on the 28th of March. The internet service company letter said their tech would be coming by on the 14th to make sure the internet is working correctly. By our count, there's a 14 day mix-up in the order of operations there, but we're pretty confident we'll get there eventually. I made another excursion to the Zollamt to see about getting a rebate on the import fees charged on our household goods. He found a different bureaucrat to deal with who seems much more agreeable (and has in fact already effected a rebate on the first of five toll charges). This guy is, however, just as much of a bureaucrat. Somehow it made our case for a refund more plausible, that we were able to produce (in addition to our local registration with the police, copy of the lease, copy of Austrian ID, copy of my employment contract with the university, and a glowing personal endorsement from his boss, and possibly also the department secretary)... a copy of our marriage certificate. It isn't at all clear what that has to do with anything, but maybe.... married people are less likely to lie about importing household goods? Who knows. The last of all the boxes we mailed ourselves arrived this past week, and it was also taxed. It contained all my various diplomas. Apparently we have been slapped with import taxes because we declared values on the things we shipped, in order to insure them against mailing damage. Moral of the story: either use a mover who knows the ropes, or claim your stuff isn't worth anything. It's probably cheaper either way. Curiously, in the hallway at the Zollamt, there were numerous pictures documenting the congenial and fun-oriented outdoor activities of the office workers. They visited a castle, had a cookout, drank a beer on the Matterhorn, and also had a slumber party. Whatever else that enclave of bureaucrats may or may not be, they ARE thoroughly socialized amongst themselves. Other pictures this week: Some flowers in a box. There are flower stands all over town, and they are nearly as popular as the sausage stands. I've been wondering what people are doing with all those flowers they buy, and the answer is: They plant them in little boxes on the sidewalk, or in windows, or in front of the house. There are about 20 begonias in the window ledge in the stairwell of our building. A picture of a nice flower that just bloomed up on the Schloßberg. Don't know what it is, but hvw imagines hearing her father say, "It's some kind of Penstemon." There is a picture of a cat having a nap in the awning for an amphitheater up on the Schloßberg, on the first really nice sunny day. There were a stunning number of people up on top of the 'berg having a nap in the sun that day, too, but they probably didn't want their pictures taken, and they weren't lodged in an awning thing looking really, really smug. A picture of an unusual flower bed in the neighborhood of the botanic garden. It's apparently shows what the sun does for tulips, as far as we can tell... Last but not least, a picture of all the stuff we get on the door step, or in the mail but not from the post office, during the course of one week. When it's all stacked up together, it's a pile about 3 inches thick, and weighs more than 3.5 pounds. There are several faux-news magazines, with names (translated to English) like The Week, Graz in Pictures, The Weekend Magazine, The Grazer, and so forth. (The rest of it is ads for holidays in places we've never heard of, and home improvement sales, and new kinds of ice cream.) They do have interesting things, like event postings, and pictures of recent happenings. There are also daily freebies available at all the tram stops, that have movie listings, tv listings, and sudoku puzzles. It would kind of seem like the regular daily newspapers wouldn't be able to compete, but in fact there are 3 or 4 major local papers, plus the out of town papers, plus the weekly local papers. The newsstands have a huge selection, and are very popular. Apparently Austrians are Readers... (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 26th, 2007
9:54 am	It's my turn this week Week 5 Report On Monday, we finally got our Meldezettel business taken care of at the magistrate's office. One more piece of bureaucracy out of the way. At the moment, deportation is looking a lot less likely. Several of the packages that we shipped over here were slapped with a tariff (zoll) by the customs-tariff people. The tariffs have been very expensive and we tried to contest them by following the instructions with the first package we got, which instructed us to write to Zollamt Wien (Vienna's tariff agency). Three weeks later, we got a letter from them which stated that the case had been "retired for reasons of competency" and that further inquiry should be directed to Zollamt Graz, which we did. On Tuesday, we went to Zollamt Graz where we were quickly instructed to deal with Zollamt Wien (bet you didn't see that one coming!) After showing them the letter from Zollamt Wien, they begrudgingly agreed to talk to us. Long story short, we were given the run-around and if we want to try again to claim exemption from import tariffs, we can go back with the complete list of things we shipped (preferably with ORIGINAL RECEIPTS FOR EVERYTHING), our Meldescheins (notices from the Magistrate that we are authorized to be here), Aufenthaltsverhältnisse (essentially visas and distinct from the previous thing), rental agreement, Greg's contract with the University, and so on. Anyway, we may press the issue, but when it comes down to it, like most places there is a cloister of bitter vindictive I've-made-terrible-life-decisions style bureaucrats who are at liberty to deny us refund for any reason they can imagine, and they probably will. There is no shortage of reminders that we are in a very different place with very different ways pretty much every minute of the day. That's probably what culture shock is about. Even when you go to the grocery stores, everything is odd if only in rather subtle ways. For example, the notion of a a dozen seems to be entirely absent here. Eggs come in 10 packs. Beer comes in 4 or 6 packs usually depending on whether they are half or third liter bottles, but not always. Cases are twenty bottles, but frequently there are specials where if you buy a case of twenty half liter bottles, you get a free four-pack of third liter bottles. Speaking of liquor sales we were surprised and amused to see that the regular grocery stores sell absinthe. Not chartreuse, but actual wormwood-containing, menacing, "the green fairy" style absinthe. Admittedly, we're kind of curious to try it, but neither of us can recall ever hearing a single favorable review of the stuff from friends who have, so... that probably won't happen until we run out of actually appealing things to try and that could take a long time. We did discover something cool in the grocery stores, which is that a wide variety of herbs and spices can be purchased in tiny cartons with plastic screw tops from the freezer section. This way it's just like having fresh herbs every time you cook something. Pretty neat. Another thing which is great is the wide variety of ready-made dough from the dairy section. We've been buying this excellent filo pastry dough and making spanokopita with it. Tonight, we're going to make pizza. On Saturday, we decided to go out to Schloß Eggenberg, which is a palace on the far west end of town, where the Prince Johann Ulrich von Eggenberg had a palace built in 1623. It's supposed to be pretty fabulous, so it seemed like a good field trip. Prior to going out we collected a pile of brochures from the tourist office in the city center. These brochures contain loads of things to see and do in and around Graz. There are some implausibly scenic looking hikes nearby in the surrounding province of Styria (Steiermark). There is also the tendency in the brochures to photograph plates of snacks and glasses of wine against the majestic backdrop of mountains, forests, lakes and so forth, should you forget for a moment that this is the real-world equivalent of Hobbiton. When we get our act together, we're going to try to make the English language translations of the the tourist info available to interested parties who might be willing to visit us--if you want some of that, just say the word. One of the things that sounds appealing is to take bikes to a nearby town via the train and cycle back. We'll probably look at bikes in March after our monthly travel passes expire. Regarding the castle, the tourist guide says to take the tram to the stop of the same name, and when we got there, we thought it would be obvious which way to go... so we looked north... ... and then south ... No castle. No signs. No nothing. Just picked a direction to go in, and it turned out to be 100% wrong... we entirely circumnavigated the castle grounds before we got back to the gate, which was a half a block from where we were standing when we took those pictures. Whoops. On the way, we saw a big yellow house (so big we could only get a picture of half of it)... What's that little yellow thing in the window? Why, it's a miniature of the big yellow house! Filled with bird seed! People are funny. By the way, the birds here are a little different than their North American cousins. Here's a common raven type thing: The usual all-black kind is here as well, but is much less common. The squirrels are also the dark brown kind with tufted ears, but there aren't that many of them, and they're pretty shy, so no picture yet. Anyhow, here's the castle: It was designed in one of those eras of extreme symbolism, so it's got 365 windows, 52 doors, 12 gates, 4 towers... See where that's going? If you squint, you can see a statue in the front, to the right of the main gate. It's tempting to think that's a roman soldier or some mythological figure, but in fact, it's a pirate. You can tell, because it's got a parrot on the shoulder: We were thinking of going inside, where they have historically preserved, lavishly appointed baroque staterooms and a state art museum... but the staterooms are closed until April. So we saved our €6, and just wandered around the grounds for a while. Not terribly impressive now, without grass or leaves or much greenery at all, but there were a lot of peacocks. They were all in a lather about mating season, so we got to hear lots of screeching and see a lot of tail feather displays, complete with the wing-shaking and the rattling noise. The best display we saw was the white peacock, who was making moves on the speckled hen. Got to impress the ladies! Speaking of birds, we picked up a choco bar this week that we're kind of afraid to try. We bought it just for the name: It contains chili pepper and egg liquor. At least it doesn't actually contain chicken... The other interesting thing we've tried this week, food-wise, is the local specialty, pumpkin seed oil (kurbiskernoel). It's an extremely dark greenish/gold color, and tastes exactly like something squeezed out of roasted pumpkin seeds. Tremendously tasty for dipping bread in, or cooking just about anything in. We're hoping it's healthy, because we're inclined to start eating it regularly. Another thing we did on Saturday was check out the large Biomarkt (organic grocery) in the northeast corner of town. We ended up buying very little because the prices on things were generally rather stratospheric ($20 for a pound of almonds!?!). Greg did not even know there was such a thing as an oat-milk sommelier. We were, however, amused to see that the sort of quasi-hippie chicks that staff at these establishments look exactly the same in Austria as they do in New Mexico, with the dreadlocks and the nostril piercing and hemp clothing and general fume of sandalwood. The other lesson obtained from the Biomarkt is that a thick layer of rich, dark chocolate can magically transform a rice cake from profoundly angering packing material to acceptable food. The nearby river front path continues to be very inviting, and just a short walk north of the house, there is what looks just like wilderness: It's actually not, there are suburban things on either side of the river, and the walkway is pretty busy all the time, with everyone from little kids to rollerbladers and strolling senior citizens. But it's great that they've planned the promenade and river area such that even in winter, you can't actually see civilization at all times. It's a nice retreat from the urban-ness of the city downtown area. Seems like every day new things are blooming here, which means spring is well on the way. (Ironic to say this today, which is the coldest day we've had since mid-January, we actually have the heater on today!) Honeysuckle bloomed this week. The bees are on top of that development: Current Mood: calm Current Music: Verkehr (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 7th, 2007
4:01 pm	Blackout As hvw mentioned, we have moved to our permanent apartment and are currently without teh interwebs. Luckily, someone came to our door last night and sold us DSL service which should begin in a couple of weeks. In other news, we've already been to IKEA three times. It seems when we ordered our bed, we neglected to also puchase the matress-supporting lathe, thereby making the bed unusable. So, instead, we slept on the couch. Anyone interested in visiting should take heart that we will definitely buy something place over the couch to lessen the blunt trauma endured through prolonged direct contact. Current Mood: sore Current Music: Italian Lessons (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 3rd, 2007
9:42 pm	Ich liebe es, wenn ein Plan funktioniert. Well, we were just watching "Das A-Team" on TV and that's what Hannibal says near the end of every episode. As hvw mentioned in her LJ, we went back to IKEA for a second pass today. Since we're moving into a barren apartment in two days, it seemed wise to arrange for some furnishings. It seems that we have got all the essentials to get us started minus some cookware which we'll probably be hastily scuttling about for on Monday and/or Tuesday morning. We hit the IKEA in the morning and after a brief midday recuperation at the temporary apt. we headed out in search of pots and pans. Although we failed to acquire said items, we did get to do some pricing reconnoissance on a washing machine, toaster oven, and a few other desirables. We did see the tiniest washing machine ever today. It was roughly a 2'x2'x2' cube with a porthole. Basically large enough to wash a sock. We're looking for one large enough to wash three socks. While out and about, we went into a BILLA which is another one of the major grocery store chains here. As part of our adventure-having experience, we bought two drinks that we had no idea what they were. Both drinks were by "Carpe Diem" and mine claimed to have Gingko. The only way the flavor could be described is if a New Age book and crystal shop were made into a carbonated beverage. Completely odd. hvw had "Botanic Water" which is flavored with apples, lemons, pears, acerola, thyme, balm, lavender, hops, passionfruit flowers, peppermint, rose blossoms, linden blossoms, and orange peel. Curiously, while I can believe these things are in it, the taste defies description and I would never be able to blindly guess what's in it. One thing I have found in dealing with people here is that while most of them are extremely reticent to reveal any knowledge of English, many are quite willing to speak very slowly and clearly. Granted this helps not-at-all if you don't know the word for something, but I think that in the long run, it will make learning German (or should I say, Austrian) easier. This is in pretty stark contrast to my experiences in Germany, were many people were all too eager to English and frequently wouldn't give me the chance to try in German. I was pretty frustrated in IKEA because we had just bought a pile of much-assembly-required furniture and all the tools we have with us are a spoon, a corkscrew, and some breadsticks. I tried to ask the cashier where we get the tools to assemble the furniture, but I could not even remember the German word for hand tool (It's Handwerkzeug, BTW). Eventually, when we were trying to arrange delivery, I asked "what the type of thing is called of which a hammer is an example?" to get this info. Austrian TV is, as a whole real different than US TV. yes, there are a lot of US shows which have been re-dubbed in German, but the level of permissibility is different. For example, we were watching "die Simpsons" a few days ago and Flanders actually said the word "Motherfucker." Also, there are ads for vibrating cockrings during Saturday prime time. I felt like I was watching Mr. Show. There appears to be a show about erectile dysfunction (this is the plot element of a sitcom). Of course there is no real reservation about showing nudity of television either since the presumption is that everyone watching is either fully emotionally formed adult, or is under the supervision of one. A similar thing can be said of the generalized disinterest in alcohol restriction. It's probably common knowledge that there is not a formal "drinking age" in the German speaking world, but I was a little surprised by the Piña Colada chocolate balls we bought which were full of actual rum. I have to say, that I like living in a place where people are presumed to behave responsibly. Speaking of candy, we got some malt-flavored hard candies, which are quite good. Yesterday, I observed the odd fact, that although the nearest toilet to my desk in my office is at most 35 feet away, that I have to pass through five doors to get to it. End thought: we are looking forward to moving into our long-term place and getting it set up. I also have high hopes for finding a box of money so that I can buy an espresso machine. Current Mood: satisfied Current Music: Rush Hour auf Deutsch (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 30th, 2007
10:51 pm	BYOB to Norway We finally got around to looking at a few more apartments today, as hvw mentioned. This is good since we only have a week left at our current place, so we need to quickly set up a new place and see about some urgent furnishings... unless we want to eat, sleep, and bathe literally in our suitcases. The first place we looked at gave me The Fear™. Not because I was (probably?) in any real peril, but... ugh. Those of you who spend your whole lives living in the states and in buildings no older than the 60's, will probably never know the weirdness that is some of the apartments here. For example: How would like an apartment where all of the ceilings are 16 feet tall - except the bathroom which is 6.5 feet tall AND set a foot and a half lower than the rest of the apartment so that you feel like you might need to put on a mining helmet to go take a dump? Most of the blocks here have buildings all along the perimeter and a courtyard/atrium type arrangement (called a "Hof") on the inside. Generally it is preferred to have an apartment facing the Hof as it will be more shielded from street traffic noise. ALL FOUR of the places we saw to day, regrettably had the poo-shelf toilets. Motherfucker! Well, I guess I'll have to buy a respirator. I'm also considering silicone spray to reduce friction. hvw suggests butter, but I'm afraid this might lead to confusion and unfortunate situations. Plus the phrase "It's your turn to butter the poo-shelf" will certainly lead to years of costly therapy. The third and fourth places we looked at were otherwise significantly more auspicious - both recently renovated. The third place, which was the only one which made me say "ooo!" is at the top floor of a "four" (actually five since the ground floor doesn't get counted here) story building. Unlike any other place we looked at, it also had a small single-room upper level which overlooks the "Wohnkuche" (large room with kitchen built into one wall). The main con is that is a bit close to the main train station and farther from my office, which while convenient for being grifted, might put one in a more muggable location as well. The fourth place, was small an essentially one single very large room, with a tiny bedroom slapped together by partitioning the space with some walls 1% larger than two single beds. This place actually has a basement and is in an ostensibly quiet neighborhood near the river in the north end of town, Another big plus? The street that it's on is "Körösistraße." Word. We look at one more tomorrow, hopefully reach a verdict and set the wheels in motion. Having lived in Albuquerque for five years, I am quite used to seeing beggars/panhandlers. Of course I saw this plenty DC too. In Albuquerque, however, there was a vague uniformity to the panhandling demographic. They are almost all men in the 20-50 age bracket. Here in Graz, there are also lots of panhandlers. It is done differently here. Instead of "I need some change to take the bus back to the reservation" or some guy on a bicycle asking for money, there are people kneeling in the street with their hands cupped and Dickensian plaintiff expressions. There are a lot of children begging too, but it was significantly more disturbing to see old women begging in this fashion though. The thing that shocked me the most was when I saw a beautiful young woman begging. She couldn't have been much more than 18. I have always been led to believe that attractive people got pretty much whatever the hell they wanted too so it's hard for me to grasp how someone like this would end up begging. Maybe it was really a college art project? Anyway whatever brain malfunction I have that makes me want to give money to pretty women was swiftly overruled by realizing how I would have never stood a chance with a girl like this in high school (or ever). So, fuck her then. That 2€ coin went to espresso, which will always love me for who I am. Something I forgot mention before was that a few days ago, hvw and I had lunch with my boss and he told an amusing anecdote. Some time ago, he went to a conference in Norway and was invited to a party, to which he offered to bring a bottle of wine. He then went to the store to buy a bottle but had trouble finding some. Eventually he found a small amount, but when checking out he discovered that it was, in fact, non-alcoholic. He asked what the deal was and was told that since alcohol sales are controlled by the state, there was only one store in town and they held what amounted to banking hours. When he got there there was a long line ala buying provisions in the Soviet Union. Apparently, because of regulations the prices are very high. He and his friend encountered a old Norwegian sitting outside his house drinking wine. The Norwegian said that he would offer some, but he had to drink it all right then as he and his wife were leaving on a trip and they HAD TO drink ALL they wine they owned right then. Apparently when a house is burgled, the booze is the thing that is stolen preferentially. My boss says the Norwegian couple were quite quite hammered from doing their pre-trip clean up and that the old lady was wearing a bikini. If you ever go to Norway, BYOB. Current Mood: confused Current Music: Breaking glass (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 25th, 2007
8:32 pm	The 14-month year, the crap ledge, QWERTZ, and another day without getting a phone There are a lot of things that are done differently here. How many? Well, easily enough to blog about for a couple of years, if not the rest of my life. One of the things is how you get payed for the year. As a post-doc, I already expect to be payed in pencil shavings. I was initially concerned because the taxes are high that I might be ending up with less per month than I expected. Fortunately, it turns out that you get paid for fourteen months a year. The thirteenth month's pay is a good deal more than the first twelve months (which are the same) and the fourteenth is somewhere in between. Makes sense? Anyone who knows me even a little knows that I bitch and moan about America more or less whenever I am awake. There is one thing about America which is unquestionably great, even in my mind. That is, of course, the toilets. Sure, it may waste a lot of water, but the shit bong water filtering of the stink is a huge improvement. If you thought a bowl of water with a turd at the bottom stunk, you should see some of the toilets here, which feature the crap ledge. The crap ledge is the raised porcelain plateau which is directly below the business end of a hunkering person. The water reservoir on the other hand is a tiny palm-sized region at the front of the bowl. Consequently, when one answers nature's call there will be a mephistolic crap cairn standing majestically on the crap ledge for all of your desperately flailing at the flush-lever enjoyment. It's not clear to me why they went with this design, but suffice it to say, there is a scrub brush next to every one of these toilets to verbesser any sheisseabsturzungen you may need. I give the crap ledge a meh/10. Here's another thing which isn't necessarily bad but not preferred. Austrian keyboards use a unique set and layout of keys. The first thing you are likely to notice while using an austrian keyboard is that the letters Y and Z have been swapped. For this reason, it is called a QWERTZ layout. After this, you'll probably notice the inclusion of the Ä, Ö, and Ü keys over on the right-hand-side. Of course, the ;'[]\,./ stuff is not there, but somewhere else. There is also an ß key which is one of the shift+number ones. In addition to shifting up, there is also some sort of shift down which allows you to access the @ symbol which lives in Q's basement like some sort of gimp. Curiously, there does not appear to be many shift down symbols. Certainly not enough to warrant another shift key. Picture here. Also, still no phone. This time we were told that in addition to needing all of the things the other phone place told us to have, that we also need a Meldungzettel which is some sort of receipt that one gets for registering with the magistrate? Current Mood: bitchy Current Music: Flipping pages (13 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 24th, 2007
10:37 pm	8/10 for the day. That's around a B-? So today we managed to get the ball rolling on a bank account, which is good as it subsequently appeared to be a prerequisite for getting a phone, which we did not get for the reason mentioned in the first part of this sentence. Also, I bought a nifty watch. It was on sale for a mere 75 Euros. hvw points out that it is ironic to buy an American watch when we are practically next to Switzerland, but I was very keen on this watch all the same. We met with the boss again today and he very nicely made some calls to apartment listing agents on our behalf since his German is significantly better than ours. We were shocked and dismayed that the Austrian Postal Authority billed us for me to ship my books to my boss since they decided that I was selling them to him. Now I have to send a letter of contest to the main office in Vienna to get my money back. The good news is that they will probably be doing this with additional packages of mine that I am sending to myself since I am clearly making a profit sending things to myself. It's a sneaky counterintuitive get-rich scheme, you see. While out and about, we encountered the EURO SPAR which is presumeably the same company as the SPAR grocery store we've been shopping in, only much bigger and with a more extensive selection of products. Frankly, I had been experiencing overload in the regular sized SPAR which is 1.5 to 2 7-11's in size. Getting around in the local SPAR is tough as there is essentially no room to manneuver in. You pretty much have to hold your basket over your head or stand in it and have someone push you around the store because there is no accommodating the girth of an average human plus a basket. The EURO SPAR didn't have baskets, it had carts that were about 2/3 the size of regular American grocery store carts. They did have an important feature which is the "sidle option" which they more in every direction with uniform ease. Kind of like a Hawker Harrier: great for getting swiftly out of the way of charging rhinoceros or cantankerous old austrian women which are practically indistinguishable. For the record, the EURO SPAR nearly made my head explode with their offerings of thousands of products with which I am totally unfamiliar. There was, for example a GIANOURMOUS table of varietal chocobars on display that were every conceivable variety. Not only did they have, for example, chocolate with orange, but chocolate with specific kinds of orange, such as blood orange. There was also one that claimed to contain roses and basil (the fuck?). I did treat myself to a half liter bottle of Gösser Bock which is a strong Styrian beer (7.1%) which helped take the edge off considerably. I'm quite certain that I could get rather drunk on as few as four or five of these. Although most things are more expensive here, alcohol seems to actually be rather reasonable. Especially for me as I always bought the high-end imported European beers back in the states. Things I learned by watching Austrian television tonight include: 1. Austrian scientists have apparently constructed a tampon which does not require hanging upside down to use. I have no idea what that commercial was getting at, but I didn't realize you ladies had it so rough. 2. There is some event were extremely stout austrian men wear dirndls and cannonball into a swimming pool. 3. The key to a good car commercial is to alternate between pictures of a cute rabbit and an angry-looking screaming (opossum?) 4. If you go to work drunk or perhaps without consuming enough energy drinks, everyone will be blurry and move in slow motion. 5. There is a show caller Bauer sucht Frau (Farmer Seeks Wife). I had to turn that off for perhaps obvious reasons. Tomorrow, we really need to get some laundry done, which I'm told by the landlady is possible (on the premises?) I used Babelfish to translate her explanation into English, but it actually became less intelligible by some miracle. Current Mood: B- Current Music: Sneezing (1 Comment |Comment on this)
9:37 am	Things to do today 1. Catch the bus to the Hauptplatz 2. Try to open a bank account 3. Buy some goddamned watches 4. Get a cell phone 5. Eat lunch 6. Meet the boss for coffee 7. Buy groceries 8. Collect the daily pastery - very important 9. Return to apartment 10. Haul laundry across the river to the (presumably) nearest coin-op laundromat All of the above would be less stressful if I could do them in English. Current Mood: anxious Current Music: Verkehr (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007
9:54 pm	Some satisfaction One of the several new things I tried today was some sort of carbonated drink made out of Johannesbeeren which I think either are currants or are something similar to currents. The drink was pretty good and not too sweet, although it was merely picked up as a capricious try-something-new item while I was in the gas station. We discovered this evening, after the regular grocery stores closed (yes that happens here), that there were no eggs left for breakfast, so I shambled off to the BP for some eggs, butter and sugar. I was a bit surprised to see that the ingredients for the drink showed that it was sweetened with actual sugar instead of high fructose corsn syrup which is legally required to be in every single product made in the United States, including auto parts. I was wondering what they call high fructose corn syrup here since it was not on the label, so out of curiosity, I picked up a bottle of Coke and was astonished to discover that it too contained real sugar. Those of you who remember the early 80's as I do, might recall the whole Coke being superceded by "New Coke" and being allegedly reinstated with "Coke Classic" which was really just a ploy to cut costs by replacing the sugar by corn syrup. That was when I stopped drinking the stuff because I think corn syrup tastes like shit and makes me feel nasty. Casual inspection of the other sodas and candy bars revealed none of them to contain corn syrup at all. Woo hoo! As a side note there is a product in Germany and perhaps Austria as well, called Spezi which is a mixture of cola and orange soda; typically Coca-Cola and Fanta Orange are used. It sounds nasty, but is actually pretty good. Current Mood: content Current Music: Whining hard drive (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 20th, 2007
12:38 am	Here at last Here we are at the end of our first full day in Graz. I had been somewhat nervous about the difficulty of passing through immigration and customs on account of traveling with a cat and intending to stay much longer than someone without special permissions. Frankly, I had anticipated an awkward conversation with a dour official about how I should be allowed in and having to sit in a quasi-cell while immigration called the University to verify my story. Here's what actually happened. The spouse and I shambled off the plane, completely ruined by turbulence and generalized transatlantic suckage. We crossed the tarmac and enter the Vienna airport to discover some kind of station with officials in booths. There wer two lines, one for EU citizens and one for everyone else. The lines were moving quickly, with the official merely glancing at passports and stamping them without question or comment. Before I knew it, I had gone through the checkpoint... thinking, WTF? was that the immigration station??? I was not asked anything. From here, we proceeded to the baggage claim. Our luggage was already out as was our very sad and very shell-shocked Squee (she's still hiding under the couch). We collected a cart and headed to customs. As per usual there were red and green aisles for whether or not you have anything to declare. We suspected we might have something to declare since we were traveling with a cat which is, after all, agriculture. There were two officials chatting between the red and green doors. We approached them and asked whether we needed to declare the cat. One asked to see her forms and then curtly gestured us to the nothing-to-declare door. Ahh, I thought, here is the third-degree that I've been expecting. Much to our surprise, passing through the green door, put us out into the common airport space. How did that happen? How did we escape so easily? From there we collected the rental car and drove to Graz. Another major surprise was that in the Boston airport, hvw managed to carry large scissors to the gate in her carry-on bag and also she passed through the metal detector with most of a roll of quarters in her pocket. Isn't that comforting? Ugh. Jet lag. Current Mood: Jet lag Current Music: traffic and hiccups (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, December 22nd, 2006
7:02 pm	Anyone need one of these Yes, it's that time of the year. It's the Family Survival Kit. I'll write more when I haven't driven 1200 miles in two days. Current Mood: quixotic Current Music: Cat eating kibble (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 19th, 2006
3:22 am	Apartment hate revisited So it's about 3:16 in the morning here in Albuquerque and I have just discovered another aspect to this apartment in which we can really "taste the savings." It is as the moment fucking windy outside. I'm not trying to be vulgar, this is actually the proper meteorological term for the stupidly insane horseshit currently transpiring. On top of the sounds of howling winds, the windows are rattling fiercely but these are both playing supporting roles to the never-ending clanging of the furnace system. Sweet Jesus, death is not coming soon enough. Also, we have extremely red eyes because the atmosphere here is actually a colloid consisting of 3 parts air to 1 part grit to 1 part garbage. Albuquerque, you can kiss my ass. That was not a request. Current Mood: angry Current Music: wind and banging (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 12th, 2006
7:36 am	My christmas wish And now, off to work. Current Mood: lazy Current Music: heater crackling (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 9th, 2006
7:25 pm	Twin Peaks meme Which Twin Peaks character are you? You're Special Agent Dale Cooper. You're often too brilliant for people to really follow, but your infectious enthusiasm makes up for the fact that you're frequently incomprehensible. You are smart, intuitive, clear-headed, compassionate, and cute as hell -- about your only flaw is your insane coffee consumption. Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code Well, I guess that's as good a result as one could hope for. I'm pleased that Bob was not one of the possible outcomes. Now I want to watch all the episodes again. What a great show it was. (Comment on this)
Friday, December 8th, 2006
9:36 pm	Which sign of the apocalypse is this? Yes. I'm "blogging" apparently. It's only been a couple of years since my last entry and... well not a damn thing has happened since then. Ok maybe a few things have happened. I completed a Ph.D., spent some time working at a Nat'l Lab on neat-o sciency stuff and now hvw and I are gearing up to move to Austria, BUT: I'm not here to praise Caesar but to pee on his corpse and grieving widow. I have lived in some lousy accommodations in my time, both for short and extended term. Our current apartment is not the worst place I have ever lived. That would be Orchard Acres in Storrs, CT, which is not-so-affectionately known as "Awful Acres" by anyone who's ever seen it. How bad was it? 1) Carpeted kitchen and bathroom 2) Toilet overflowed if you flushed a toenail clipping 3) No AC + giant mutant mosquitoes = twofold dessicated corpse 4) Constantly fucking hippies next door 5) Refrigerator went down to 70 degrees Fahrenheit - made cheese from milk overnight 6) My bed was a mattress on a burial mound of books 7) Roommate made "thousand year old eggs" on the counter 8) Stove burst into flames due to millennia of neglect Nay, our current accommodations are better than that, however, I can really taste the savings. Exhibit A: Hot water regulated by a pseudo-random bitstream. I swear that if I screamed any more profanity when trying to take a shower, passers by would assume a prison rape scene was being filmed. The water goes for 40 to 120 degrees and back again in less time than you can dislodge a hastily-implanted bar of soap from under your eyelid. Instead of a singing in the shower I did have a pretty good rhythm of SHIT! FUCK! for every hot and cold burst. Of course as the more astute readers of hvw's blarg have probably caught wise, there are other cons to living here, but mercifully it is only for another couple of weeks. The mind does reel at the possibilities of what we may face in a foreign country. Fact of the day: A group of owls is called a "Parliment." Current Mood: wine Current Music: Bare Naked Ladies (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 27th, 2005
12:49 pm	Success! (Somewhat) After several weeks of repeatedly bludgeoning my cerebrum against the numerical nightmare which is nonconformal elements and their boundary operators, I am filled with glee to have finally written some working code. The program in question computes electronic states for a conical cavity surrounded by a cylindrical barrier region. The object being to approximate the geometry of an Indium Arsenide quantum dot embedded in a region of Gallium Arsenide. Now to generalize the code to where the dot is embedded in a quantum well with absorbing boundary conditions. I may finish this 'ing degree yet. Current Mood: pleased Current Music: Bluetech: Flaming June (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 26th, 2005
5:29 pm	Is this thing on? Test 1 2 3 (2 Comments |Comment on this)